I like this. A little space to write, all by my cozy lonesome.
I’ve been writing on Instagram for a while, but most concentratedly since last spring. I began a deconstruction account as a way to process my journey out of the evangelical industry. It was a way to finally feel like myself again, after trying to process with friends from my personal life who couldn’t, wouldn’t understand. A way to fully accept where my evangelical upbringing had failed me and dig into the root system of my beliefs, unearthing what was dead, rotting, and in need of nourishment.
Since then, I have met some of the loveliest people, filled with truth and fire and wisdom and grace and kindness. All spiritual wanderers, leaving the confines of industrialized worship for richer, deeper, purer faith. I’m so grateful to have been met with curiosity and welcoming. I didn’t know people like this existed and it’s a true gift to count so many of them as my friends.
As grateful as I am for that space, and it will still be a key outlet for exercising my voice and creativity, I’m looking for a less visible place to simply be, as I am. Just like when I was an all-in evangelical Christian and made it my entire identity, deconstruction can seem all-consuming at times. “Can’t you talk about something else?”(more…)